Max: More of Ze Punishment!

Sunday 6th April 2008

Following last week's revelations by the News of the World about Max Mosley's sex life, you might have thought Max would have been in for an easier Sunday.

Not a bit of it. "My Nazi Orgy With F1 Boss" reads the front page headline

This week, the NoW has him front page again, along with transcripts from the tapes made during his alleged five-hour orgy in what has been described as "a London sex dungeon". Though Max himself believes it all to be a disgusting conspiracy and that what he does in his private should be allowed to stay private, the newspaper reveals more evidence behind their claim that the orgy had Nazi connotations.

Whether the newspaper can ultimately prove this in court and whether Max would actually want to go to court and stand in the witness box and tell the world about his sexual longings are unknown right now. But what IS known is that the NoW internet site, along with You Tube downloads of the video are doing massive business.

In fact so numerous are the hits on the site, that it has become victim of the Rick'n' Roll craze (you hit a link and instead of what you expected, you get a video of Rick Astley dancing) Max is becoming a figure of fun. And you can't have motorsport run by a figure of fun. Even though Jean-Marie Balestre tried his hardest.

Who will want to stand next to him in photos? Certainly not the Crown Prince of Bahrain.

During the latest round of revelations it is claimed that Max did yell out commands in German:

MOSLEY (in German): Get up! So, little one, it's your turn now. Get over here. Down with your panties.

LEAH: What's your problem? I don't even understand what you are saying?

MOSLEY (in German): Are you going to behave now? Are you going to be good now? So now she is going to behave. OK, I think we should **** you now.

But bizarrely, not content with real German, he tries speaking English with a comedy German accent as though he were in the classic British sitcom 'Allo 'Allo yelling "Zey need more of ze punishment I think!"

It is the combination of prison-like activity - searching for lice through Mosley's hair - the elements of German camps, girls wearing stripey, pyjamas/suits - plus the administration of torture, speaking German that add up to a credible storyline for the paper to run.

In terms of theatre of the absurd the scenario isn't exactly Springtime for Hitler in Germany, it's more like a very poor S&M amateur drama video. You won't be seeing this one at the Porn Oscars. (If you go, that is)

The paper claim that since the story was run last week that he'd used private eye intermediaries to try and contact all the hookers involved to get them to testify that it didn't have a Nazi theme. So when the FIA stated that Max was too busy working on his legal case to go to the Bahrain GP, it maybe should have said: the Crown Prince doesn't want to meet him and anyway he's too busy going though his phonebook.

(Working on your legal case sounds far more noble than going through cards you picked up in Soho phone boxes)

If what the paper says is true, how would he know the contact details of all five hookers/dominatrixes involved? Surely this was a one-off moment of madness, not a regular sordid affair...

There is a monumental load of pressure bearing down on Mosley now, and like Caesar he looks destined to be felled in a flurry of blows any time soon. Honda, BMW, Toyota and Mercedes have found against him, the Dutch, German and American motoring bodies, too. We've not even heard from the more conservative cultures of the world.

Even that bastion of liberal thinking the Caravan Club have said Max is no longer welcome at the FIA.

Does Max really want more of ze punishment?

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