Pit Chat: Alonso wishes you a happy holiday

As we settle into a long summer break without racing, the Hungarian Grand Prix provided plenty of moments to savour, well, off the track at least.
And first…
Hello Halo
The lead-up to the Hungarian Grand Prix did not get off to the best of starts when the FIA gave the go-ahead for the ‘Halo’ cockpit safety device to be introduced from 2018. Bleurgh.
All the drivers were asked for their thoughts on the giant flip-flop, with the straight-bat response being something along the lines of ‘respecting’ the decision. Some, though, didn’t hold back…
Max Verstappen: “I think that as soon as I have that thing on my car I don’t like it and I’m not even sitting in the car so the excitement has already gone before I’m even sitting in the car.”
What a ringing endorsement. Then, in the same press conference, K-Mag had this to say in what turned out to be quite the weekend for the Dane…
Kevin Magnussen: “It takes away some of the passion that Formula One is all about. When you look at the car it’s ugly. Formula One cars aren’t ugly, they’re not meant to be ugly. That’s the reason that a Ferrari is more exciting than a Mazda, it’s something passionate and if it looks s**t, it is s**t.”
That was swiftly followed by a s**t-eating grin…
And an apology from Sky Sports F1…
Criticism? What criticism?
All eight drivers involved in the Drivers’ Press Conferences were asked about the ‘Halo’, the two quotes above came from there. But you wouldn’t know by watching the official F1 video that was published afterwards. Some clever editing going on…
Hiding it only makes it look worse.
Good Fellas
We felt a bit sad and dirty after all the ‘Halo’ talk, but thankfully Valtteri Bottas and Sebastian Vettel were on hand to lift spirits by providing moments that some lucky young fans will never forget.
Firstly, Bottas enjoyed some minimal talking with a kid who was in awe of meeting his hero. The hug was just lovely.
Then Vettel did this, making everyone else incredibly jealous…
Yesterday Seb brought two kids into the Ferrari garage and helped them to sit in his car ? #Vettel pic.twitter.com/vLopupd6Nh
— Gianlu D'Alessandro (@Gianludale27) July 28, 2017
What an awesome gesture.
But the Sky Sports F1 Twitter account did him no favours by choosing this image of him during the Drivers’ Press Conference.
“I don’t have a [2018] contract yet. But the primary objective is not to look at papers, but get some good results.” pic.twitter.com/pue8KpNcxc
— Sky Sports F1 ? (@SkySportsF1) July 27, 2017
Paul Di Worka
What a weekend it was for Paul di Resta. Ironing a shirt for TV broadcast one minute, putting on his race overalls for his first start in Formula 1 since 2013 the next. No dramas.
The sudden return of the Scot meant there were plenty of stats knocking around about him, but none more shocking than this one…
Paul di Resta is the first Paul di Resta to race in F1 since Paul di Resta raced for Force India in 2013. #Fact
— Pablo Elizalde (@EliGP) July 29, 2017
Di Resta’s return wasn’t complete, though, without a warm welcome back from Kimi Raikkonen.
Mad Max
Back to Max now, who is spending a lot of time firing shots at Vettel when he is not pulling the ‘Halo’ to pieces or bashing into his team-mate.
Vettel called the Dutchman “jumpy” after the British Grand Prix and then had the cheek to say he will probably calm down as he gets older.
But Verstappen is certainly no pushover…
Shot 1: “I say that on the track you have to be an a**hole. Daniel (Ricciardo) is a bigger challenge for me. When the two of them drove for the same team in 2014, Daniel was stronger.”
Ok, so there’s the accusation and the right to reply. We’re done here…no, Max isn’t finished.
Shot 2: “He apologised but I think it is better to not say someone else is jumpy when you have completely lost your head behind the Safety Car.”
Raging Bull
Verstappen’s “a**hole on track” has not aged particularly well, and neither has this tweet from Daniel Ricciardo after qualifying…
Start 6th tomorrow. Won't finish there pic.twitter.com/fhHfyV8Un5
— Daniel Ricciardo (@danielricciardo) July 29, 2017
Awkward.
Ricciardo did at least manage to give his friend one parting gift on his way back to the paddock…
Ricciardo also gave Max Verstappen the finger the lap after he retired…. ? #F1 pic.twitter.com/cQtOjLjrwF
— Rob van Gameren (@RobVanGameren) July 30, 2017
Back in happier times, Ricciardo did at least take part in Ziggo Sport’s excellent Yes/No game. However, there was far too long of a pause when asked if he could win a World Championship with Red Bull…
Palmer drama
Ricciardo’s blood would have been pumping after that first-lap retirement, and so was ours after Sky Sports F1’s David Croft said the following in qualifying…
Crofty: “Palmer with a fastest middle sector…”
WTF?!
Crofty: “…for himself”
Oh, now that makes sense. Like Ricciardo, just far too much of a pause!
Lots and lots of banter flies around the teams on Twitter. But Mercedes were pretty savage when it came to Palmer…
If it's any conciliation, Jolyon is going to know all the best shortcuts to get out of the circuit on Sunday evening
— Mercedes-AMG F1 (@MercedesAMGF1) July 28, 2017
And, if that didn’t hurt Palmer, then this rather unfortunate editing definitely would have.
When Pascal Wehrlein crashed in FP2, the first radio message we heard was…
“Are you ok, Pascal?”
After Palmer’s second crash in practice…
“Is the car ok, Jolyon?”
Dr Wolff
Toto Wolff has such a way with words. Here he is talking about Martin Brundle after he was taken ill at the British Grand Prix.
Wolff: “Martin Brundle used our facility for getting stuff out of his body.”
Beautiful.
Boring Brundle
As Brundle watched the Hungarian Grand Prix from his sofa, his reaction to arguably the greatest moment of the season puzzled many.
Alonso prob better than 3 guys on podium. Sad he's joking in a deck chair, waste of talent and reminds team bosses why they don't want him
— Martin Brundle (@MBrundleF1) July 30, 2017
Jenson Button was on hand, though, to put him right.
Totally agree Martin, how dare an F1 driver have a personality and bring fun to a sport that sometimes takes itself way too seriously ??♂️
— Jenson Button (@JensonButton) July 30, 2017
Picture perfect
That greatest moment of the season was, of course, Fernando Alonso going full meta after finishing P6 and setting the fastest lap of the race no less.
We got a taste of things to come in practice…
Then ahead of the race…
Then the best of them all…
Talk about zero f**ks given. We’ll never get tired of these pics.
The Last Word
With four weeks until the next race, we need to end strongly and that can only mean one thing… Kevin Magnussen telling Nico Hulkenberg to suck his balls.
Until Belgium…